Dogs have been deployed in military service since 1914, and as a cat lover, I find this discriminatory.
With my ideas, using an unorthodox methodology I have found the perfect use of our most underutilized common house pet.
I have come up with a simple list, reasons if you would, why enlisting cats would be better than dogs.
- Cats are inexpensive, and with all the cuts to military spending this will help out in the long run.
- No one expects a herd of cats to attack, but those silent deadly warriors will end up giving any opponent a very bad day.
- The Russians may have already militarized their cats, we don’t want to find ourselves in a paws race.
- Cats can see in the dark, can a dog do that?
- Snipers in a tree? Not after you send Mittens up there to claw the hell out of them.
- See an enemy combatant? Tag them with a laser pointer and watch Meow Team 6 work their magic.
- Cats take up less room when traveling than a service dog and can be stored under your seat for flights, or folded easily to put in a cargo pant pocket.
- In case of an emergency, a cat can be used as a CQB weapon by grabbing its tail and swinging it, a thousand blades are exposed in the form of its claws. I call this the “Tigger Tagger®“
- Put a camera on its head and watch your AO while they roam, nap and occasionally clean themselves.
- Cats always land on their feet, airdrop a horde of or finicky furry friends from 27,000 feet into enemy territory and wait while they eliminate all threats.
