WLS 468 – HexPox

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Welcome to the We Like Shooting Show, episode 468. 

 

Our CAST is Jeremy Pozderac, MG Moses, Nick Lynch and my name is Shawn Herrin.

 

Gear Chat 

 

  1. Aaron – Noble Knife-Dagger
  2. Shawn – PSAK GF3
  3. Nick – BCA range finding red dot

 

Gun Fights!

Best Fictional Gun

#Aaron’s Alley

New chest rig set up

 

Going Ballistic

Summarize / Editorialize / Go to the cast for comments  

 

Jeremy  Reads 

Five Canadian Hubcaps from Vince H:

 

My respect for Savage went up considerably after the steady cam gun rig. That thing is awesome, but why can’t he just summarize, editorialize, and go to the cast for comments? It should be called “Going On and On and On with Savage1r”.

 

Aaron has gotten way better over the last year or so but every now and then he has to pick some dumb fight. I guess the only way he can get off after the show is if Shawn loses his cool and yells at him.

 

Jeremy, congrats on the new kid. I think God knows better than to let you have a son. I hope your blood pressure remains acceptable.

 

I think Shawn just hates 22LR because it’s bigger than him and the only way he can cope is by pretending it misfires more than he does.

 

Nick, have you ever seen the movie Kung Pow: Enter the Fist? It’s the worst movie ever made, but it’s funny because it’s supposed to be the worst movie ever made, which makes it great. I think you’d like it.

 

I’ve written a sea chanty about the cast. Maybe one day I’ll record it. Probably not.

 

That is all.

 

Five Stars From David P: 

Thanks WLS. I enjoy listening to your podcasts and will someday watch one. Gunfights and Family Fudd are great new additions. I say you up the stakes and do these segments of the show where everyone is within arms reach of Jeremy. Thanks for all the entertainment. oh and also, more bald man..

 

Five Stars from Rainer B: 

Blame the cult.

 

The Drunken Cult

-a joke-

It started as all great adventures do.

In a tavern.

They were sitting at the local tavern nearest their hobbit holes called the sweet and salty burrow.

The celebration was for Shawn’s new invention, the glorious blunderbuss! Jono helped of course, at

least if you hear him tell it… he means well. But it was an invention of need, the great grey wizard

Aaron is seeking help from these crafty few to help stop an orc rising in the south east who’s being led

by a new warlord. The tales tell of a beast of great size and rage who wants to sweep through the

kingdoms and crush the people under his feet.

“No Jono, I have it covered, I’m just testing it for now before I release it to the Aaron the grey”

“But you asked for my help” Jono says with a false pout.

“oh hush you two, its going to take many more of those to get this job done! I’ll trust to my

woodsman axe, it hasn’t failed me yet” says a dwarf with a great red beard that jiggles as he

‘hurumphs’ at the two.

“we only have so long before the hordes reach us Nick” says Shawn to the dwarf. “don’t upset

your stomach worrying about what I’m doing.”

The bitching is interrupted as the local gays start arguing to the side, a Sam and Mike as they

are known. Its not Mikes fault, Sam was never the same after his master Frodo left him so long ago.

“If you keep this up im going to go fuck THAT one” Sam says as he points at a confused Jono

“Wait man thats not my thing, chill and listen to your wife” says Jono as he backs away from

the stick that Sam threatens him with yet again.

“Lets just get to bed guys, I cant get this to work but I know of a human in a nearby village that

may help. We can go there tomorrow.” Yawns Shawn as he rolls up his blunderbuss in a dark oiled

cloth.

***

They rose early the next morning singing ‘this is shit” as they readied their ponies for the short

journey away. Shawn takes the lead as he munches on his favorite breakfast cake followed behind by

his trusty Jono. Sam and Mike, now sober and made up yet again, meet with them as they leave.

“Wheres the dwarf?” ask Mike, “ all that talk about his axe, I thought he would be charging

ahead.”

“ Blowing up the privy I’d imagine” says Shawn “ You know he needs to go every damn hour”.

“I’m here, I was filling my wast purse with shot. You forgot it for you new toy there,” says Nick

as he hobbles out with a suspicious trailing of paper on his boot.

They traveled through the morning, staying to the well trodden path enjoying the shade from the

tall, old, trees with their long drooping limbs. The cool breeze in their beards and hair refreshing them

from all they drank the night before. With some lighter spirits they follow along a freshly painted fence

leading to the entrance gate with a hanging sign reading “Savages gadgets and wonders”.

“This is the place” says Shawn to the others as the dismount and tie their ponies to railings “

Think they’re here?”

As he ask an explosion shakes the ground with a black smoke rising from behind a stoutly built

sod house with a low hanging roof. Bursting through the gate, the troupe run to the smoke as a

coughing pair walk out from around the corner laughing loudly. With googles on his pale head and a

leather apron with an array of tools the shorter of the two wave a greeting to them.

“No worries friends we are fine, just a mishap with some black powder, turns out you can make

quite an explosion when you pack it into a clay ball and ignite it… around the barrel you forgot wasnt

empty!” he says with mirth. “ I’m Savage and this is my assistant Craig” he says as he waves to a man

with a hood and mask waving as the sounds of deep laughter comes from him.

“ Is that a plague doctor mask?” ask Nick

“ yes it is! It helps with the fumes of the chemicals I’m working with, I stuff the beak with

flowers and herbs”.

Though Jono noticed something strange, a symbol in dark thread on the side of the mask like a

great octopus of some sort. Memories of long ago flash in his head of a cult he longed to be in. could

this man be a member? The lost Cult of the flaming arms?

“I’m glad to see you well, we need your help. Were trying to get my creation to work properly

and maybe make more to hand out to others. A horde is soon to come led by a beast of a warchief.”

says Shawn.

“ I’ve heard of him,” says Savage “ he has slayed many of my people to the east… Hes known

as Jerambe the slayer of men.” He tries to hid it but a trail of wetness flows gently down through the

dark stains upon his face. “if I can help destroy that creature I would gladly do so!”

***

It took two days of drinking, yelling, breaking things, and finally coming to terms with the fact

that the blunderbuss wasn’t what they needed.

After many hours, Savage and Craig worked together with the help from locals to gather

supplies for a new redesign. It was so close and genius, a controlled explosion that can propel a led

arrow with great force into an enemy! But it needed fine tuning. With the help from Shawn and some

how Jono they made a working prototype. It had a 16in barrel, a comfortable stock that could adjust

from hobbit, to dwarf, to even an elf, a box that could be exchanged for a fresh one and best of all…

little brass tubes filled with the great powder and capped with the lead arrow. A single hobbit could

hold off thirty orcs in a narrow way with such a creation.

“well shawn” says Craig “what shall you name it?”

After a long though he felt it was only right he named it after the grey wizard that started them

on this adventure, “I shall call it Aaron Rage!”

“It took a few tries to get to this one” Said Savage “Fifteen to be exact, but we got it right

finally… me and my team can make many more, we’ll arm every hobbit and dwarf within these hills

and stomp Jerambe and his horde.”

“Then I shall tell everyone to get ready for their very own AR15 and send them for all the

supplies you need.” Shawn shouted back as he ran out the door.

***

Jono learned. It was the cult of the flaming arms and they welcomed him in, it was the cult

members with their magical metals and powders that were helping Savage make such devices to hold

off the evils but they needed help. Jono was their man, in his annoying ways he brought more to the

table, Craig shouted at him from time to time but Mike showed him support and gave guidance. Sam

took notice, with a glare he gripped his wooden staff. Truly was never the same after Frodo.

***

They took shifts, the whole cult, one third rested, one third trained, and one third pumped out

the great arrows that would be needed to oh to soon.

They knew the time had come when the ground shook. They felt the horde long before they ever

saw them coming from the tree lines.

There was a great field between the orc horde and the ragtag army, it would be a great spot for

clashing shield and sword. Poor fools would never understand what hit them.

They came in deep and wide waves, it was nearly overpowering even with the AR15 mowing

them down. Many of the orcs fell but they took many of the Cult and the locals with them. With loud

war cries their axes and swords fell, breaking the guns in half and loosing the limbs of the defenders.

They were running out, the great weapons would be useless without the led arrows. The moment came

too soon, grabbing the barrel the hobbits, dwarves, and even the elves slammed into the orc horde.

Using the buts of guns, knives, and even old swords and axes they chopped at the last wave. Nick died

with axe in hand, shitting on the boots of the brute that finally slew him. Craig lost his mask with his

head, Savage was creaming mad and swinging his work hammers but fail himself with a spear in the

guts. Jono was holding Mike up, they nearly made it but Mike was bleeding to much, his outspoken

counselor died in his arms.

“MIKE!” Screams Sam, “ What have you done you fool!”

“ It wasnt me, I tried to drag him away.”

“I knew something was growing between you two, and now you’ve gotten him killed!”

Sam leaped onto Jono and swung with vengeance, breaking his staff across Jono’s shoulders. “I

swore id would fuck you to death with this damn stick and now I shall make it come true!”

They both bled, Sam didn’t get what he wanted, it was to fucked up, Jono stabbed him right

before the shaft pierced his kidney, he was nearly thankful. It could have been worse.

Trailing through the fallen Shawn absorbed the horrors of what surrounded him, so many gone

but they did it, they stopped the horde.

He dragged himself wearily to where a great orc layed, propped up with his giant sword planted

in the ground as a backrest.

“Are you him, are you Jerambe the slayer of men” Shawn asked.

“Yes, I was.” the orc said with blood leaking from a great many holes.

“ Good, now we can finish this” and with that he lifted the blunderbuss, it wasnt great but it

would do for this. It blew a whole it the orcs chest and as he fell over Shawn dropped his trousers and

tossed away the gun. Straddling the dead orc he dipped down and sunk his mighty low hanging sack

into its mouth and laughed to himself. “That was for my friends”.

***

late that night Shawn is sitting at the Sweet and Salty Burrow and is disturbed by the ruffling of

a grey cloak.

“You did it my friend, at a great cost, you did it”

“ Go away Aaron, I’m in no mood for your tricks right now.”

“Very well, but I told you I would stop the invading army, that we would. I just needed your

support. A rising to the signal of great virtue. May the weight of heroics not weigh you down old

friend.”

“ … Shut up Aaron, go get ready… we have to be on stage tomorrow night for our show. The

people of the tavern and the cult will be waiting to hear all about this one.”

***

Can’t believe I just wrote that. I’m not going back through though, my ass is going to bed. It was all in

good fun and inspired by the BS in the signal chat on the day of march 3rd, 2022. Hope you fuckers

enjoy, I did, this is much better than postal work!

-R.E.Baker

 

Five Stars from P Shepard: Fresh Blueberry Cheesecake Pie

Ingredients

1 crust from 1 box (14.1 oz) refrigerated Pillsbury™ Pie Crusts (2 Count), softened as directed on box

1 package (8 oz) cream cheese, softened

1 cup sour cream

2/3 cup sugar

2 eggs

1 teaspoon vanilla

 

Blueberry Topping

1/2 cup sugar

1 tablespoon cornstarch

1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon

1/4 cup water

2 tablespoons lemon juice

2 cups fresh blueberries

 

Steps

1: Heat oven to 425°F. Slowly and gently unroll crust. Place crust in ungreased 9-inch pie plate; press firmly against side and bottom. Fold excess crust under and press together to form thick crust edge; flute. Line crust with 10-inch parchment paper or foil circle. Fill bottom of crust to about 1/2 inch deep with metal or ceramic pie beans (use rice or dry beans if you don’t have pie beans). Bake 10 minutes.

 

2: Reduce heat to 375°F. Remove parchment paper and beans from crust. Return crust to oven; bake an additional 4 to 6 minutes or until bottom looks dry and is just starting to turn light brown.

 

3: Meanwhile in a large bowl, beat together cream cheese, sour cream, sugar, eggs, and vanilla with electric mixer on medium-high speed just until blended; pour into crust.

 

4: Cover edge of crust with strips of foil to prevent excessive browning. Bake 25 to 30 minutes or until filling is set but center still jiggles slightly when moved. Cool 1 hour at room temperature.

 

5: Meanwhile in 1 1/2 quart saucepan, mix sugar, cornstarch and cinnamon. Stir in water and lemon juice until smooth. Stir in 1 cup blueberries. Heat to boiling over medium heat, stirring constantly. Boil 2 minutes or until thickened and most of the berries have popped. Stir in remaining 1 cup blueberries.

 

6: Spread blueberry mixture over cooled cheesecake. Refrigerate at least 3 hours before serving. Store in refrigerator.

 

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