10 Reasons for the use of Service Cats in the military

Dogs have been deployed in military service since 1914, and as a cat lover, I find this discriminatory.

With my ideas, using an unorthodox methodology I have found the perfect use of our most underutilized common house pet.

I have come up with a simple list, reasons if you would, why enlisting cats would be better than dogs.

  1. Cats are inexpensive, and with all the cuts to military spending this will help out in the long run.
  2. No one expects a herd of cats to attack, but those silent deadly warriors will end up giving any opponent a very bad day.
  3. The Russians may have already militarized their cats, we don’t want to find ourselves in a paws race.
  4. Cats can see in the dark, can a dog do that?
  5. Snipers in a tree? Not after you send Mittens up there to claw the hell out of them.
  6. See an enemy combatant? Tag them with a laser pointer and watch Meow Team 6 work their magic.
  7. Cats take up less room when traveling than a service dog and can be stored under your seat for flights, or folded easily to put in a cargo pant pocket.
  8. In case of an emergency, a cat can be used as a CQB weapon by grabbing its tail and swinging it, a thousand blades are exposed in the form of its claws. I call this the “Tigger Tagger®
  9. Put a camera on its head and watch your AO while they roam, nap and occasionally clean themselves.
  10. Cats always land on their feet, airdrop a horde of or finicky furry friends from 27,000 feet into enemy territory and wait while they eliminate all threats.